happy happy halloween!

i love love love halloween. love it. it's the one time a year where you can wear whatever you want, with no explanation unless your costume is hard to figure out).

my best friend had a pumpkin carving party at her house and this is the pumpkin i carved. at first, in the light, everyone was asking what i was doing. i could tell they didn't expect anything haunting...but i think i created a pretty evil face. i'm pleased =)

i have an exam (i'm going to fail) tonight plus probably an hour of class after that tonight, so i'm not celebrating tonight...HOWEVER, i will be celebrating tomorrow at my bf's house b/c they're having a costume party. i love costume parties, no matter what time of year it is.

i'm going to be Aphrodite this year. i know, i know...pretty common...but i'm taking a break from being "original" (last year i was a lamb - my costume came out pretty cute actually ;) and being "sexy" this year.

my bf is going to be ghandi...a very cold ghandi...it's freezing where i live! 33 degrees this morning...33 degrees!

anyway, none of my gfs are dressing up...except the one who is coming to my bf's house party. i can't believe they aren't anything but completely amped about dressing up and halloween. this is where we differ haha. i love them to pieces regardless. <3

okay maybe more later....ran out of things to say.

not much to say.

except that i want these curtains. bad. but who pays $123 a panel? not me...no effin way.

doggie.

this is Bones.

his real name is Conan (named partly after my love for Conan O'Brien and partly for a loose translation into Mandarin Gou-Nan meaning male dog) but after one of the funniest Conan O'Brien skits i've ever seen, he was then called ConeBone...then Bones.

i adopted him when back in 2002 when he was 9 mos old (13 y/o in people years). he was majorly neglected as a child and barely even knew how to walk up a step when i first got him. after years of love and care, along with a few dog training lessons to socialize him, he's probably at his best at the ripe old age of 8 years old orso his last doggy socializing class teacher said. she said the other option for him is doggy anxiety meds...he's a little skiddish. i refuse to medicate my dog who has no idea there's anything wrong with him. everyone's reality is different and i'm gonna let his be neurotic. i love him regardless.

anyway, he's been shuffled from my respective places to my parents' home for the past 7 years, depending on if i could have a pet. for the mostpart, i couldn't, so for the mostpart he lived with my parents.

recently, my parents split and Bones was left with my dad. my dad feeds him and lets him out, but doesn't pet him or give him the affection he's used to having.

so i've resolved to make Bones a permanent fixture on my life, starting next year when my lease is up.

i'm very excited because he's an awesome little guy and although it's not easy to have a dog in the city, especially with a dog who refuses to walk on a leash, i'll make sure to live in a place that will accept both of us with open arms.

i love him so much and he's been around for so many different phases in my life, that i feel he's my old man. my old grandpa-looking sugar daddy. just instead of showering me with gifts, he showers me with fur....pug fur.

tattoo.

this will be my next tattoo...coming up in the next few weeks. it is of my best friend's name in her native language.

i'm very much looking forward to this.

cuckoo.

sometimes i have no idea why things upset me and it makes me feel crazy. i'm genuinely considering a therapist at this point because not only is it affecting me and how i lead my life, it's affecting a relationship...a relationship i hold very high up.

i feel so badly for any damage i created by being so hot/cold. i really do.

blegh.

i'm feeling pretty down on myself today:

• i pitched a fit last night for no other reason than my own insecurity, which is so unattractive in a person.
• i'm sick.
• i have an exam tomorrow and i'm not prepared.

i have to call the boyfriend and admonish last night's behavior.

i have to study.

i have to rest.

'tis all.

a family affair.

this past weekend was our family get together.

it was partly a "where the hell has my family gone?"

and partly "wow, we missed celebrating three birthdays, i guess we better throw something together to honor these people i call my family."

so i rallied up the troops (12 of us this time...it's usually 13) plus four people i consider family (totaling us out to 16) had a big, huge, turkey dinner. of course i was supposed to make this turkey dinner and of course my mum made it all herself. she bought the turkey a few days ahead and stuffed it so that was taken care of. then when i went to take the teeniest nap, she boiled all of the vegetables to mash. HOW DARE SHE?!

how dare that woman lift a finger after the 40 years of family labor she's already contributed. i said good day sir!

okay so anyway, i felt super guilty about that but am letting it go as soon as i publish this post...thanks for being "that" person for me.

but the heart of the matter is that this was the first time for a couple of things:

1. my boyfriend being at a family event as my boyfriend. he's been in my life for 12 years but not in the capacity of my boyfriend. it went smoothly...thank the higher-ups for the little things right? if the boyfriend's reading this, i appreciate you, sir. i really do.
2. my parents being at a family event together since they split this past spring. my father didn't eat one bite of his meal and left without saying bye to anyone. honestly, things could have gone a lot worse than that. for instance, he could have not come at all or he could have been an ahole to everyone. but he was friendly and talkative - he just didn't eat and left without saying bye. i guess when your wife leaves you, you tend to feel uncomfortable. my sympathies are with him.

anyway, the family event went well. i was exhausted from not-enough-sleep and the onset of a cold, AND i was in my slump, so i wasn't the chipperest of people, but i think my family of all people should understand that.

so that was my sunday. i slept all day saturday - till 2:30 pm...what am i? a bear?

have a good day.