had it.

i cyclically get into points where i've "had it" with my living situation with my boyfriend, R. i never claim to be the neatest person in the world, but i have my standards and clean common areas is one of them.

i live with 5 guys. and a dog. that does not predispose me for a clean house to begin with, but watching R leave his belongings in places where they don't belong makes me crazy.

and i'm not someone to nag, hand-hold, or enable. it makes me mad that i have to routinely approach him to bring his boxers from the bathroom floor to the laundry basket, take his worn socks out of his shoes and put them in the laundry, put his dirty dishes sitting on the coffee table into the sink or dishwasher...load the dishwasher...change the garbage bag, throw used tissues into the garbage instead of the floor....all of these things make me sick and having to ask him to do these things that come naturally not only to me but to most people, make me so frustrated.

we've argued and fought over this. the ultimate argument on his part is: there are so many things that he wishes i'd do differently, and he's patient with me about it (meanwhile he has never approached me about any of these things, so this is a surprise)...and that i need to be patient and love him more.

at the end of the day, i want a man in my life, not a boy who i have to constantly watch over and make sure he's doing what he's supposed to be doing.

he's so oblivious to my requests for him to clean up his messes, when i ask nicely and jokingly (trying to make light of it)...and then is shocked when i'm in tears after a month of watching the house go straight to shit because (not ONLY him) everyone let it. i can't be the one picking up after everyone and i can't be the one lecturing everyone on how to live...but i can tell him what bothers me and that sucks that he's the one who hears it from me, but i can't live like that.

obviously, i'm at that point again and i just want to move out. this is so stressful for me, that i'd rather live somewhere else than constantly remind him to be cognizant of his surroundings and his roommates and what may be gross behavior in their eyes...namely mine.