progress.

i mean pro-gress. you know, how the English say it. i like that way of saying it better than the American way. prawgress. progress sounds much better when it's said with the pro.

anyway, if you're still reading after that stupid intro, thank you. i mean it. deeply. thank you.

so i've been making progress. i consider it to be major progress because for the past week or two i've been in the biggest slump. i mean seriously. i have done little-to-no homework for two rather information intensive courses, and i've been just looking at my grad school application (career changing nursing program...awesome right?). i've just been sitting there. all they ask of the applicant is to write a measly essay explaining themselves in one way or another as to why they're a leader in their life (personal, academic, professional). i put it off and put it off because i had no clue how i'm a leader.

then i go to dinner with Q, a long lost friend of mine who probably got lost because of my flakiness...or so he tells me. anyway, we catch up over sushi and

1. he tells me i've changed and it makes him sad - WHAT? who says that. Q says that. he shoots it straight. i have no idea what to do with that information but i'm mulling it over.
2. he tells me i'm not a spring chicken, so get on with it with the grad school application. he's totally right and i finally did.

he made a suggestion of an essay topic i could write on exemplifying my leadership skills but i ended up going another route. i picked a topic that so sincerely stings when i think about it. why the masochism, L? because. it's important to get through these things that could be possibly perceived as weaknesses if you don't address them yourself. and i'll tell you the topic.

i wasn't invited back to a second year of law school. nope. and that's exactly how they say it, if you were ever wondering. they let you know that you are not invited back. it's the classiest and only kick-out i've ever experienced. i wonder how med school does it...maybe they say: you will no longer be gracing us with your presence. that's the only nicer way i can think of a school rejecting a student from returning.

i digress. i wasn't invited back to law school, and it was totally for the best. i hated it. i hated every minute of it. i was driven to tears on many an occasion. whatever higher powers exist were watching me that day and said "Let's put her out of her misery."

but as much as i know this, i was still hurt, offended, and humbled. completely humbled. i can't emphasize how humbled i was. i let it get to me for a very long time...until i enrolled in pre-nursing classes (predominantly sciences and psych courses) and got As!

i digress again. i felt it was important to write about my experience in law school and explain how it was a learning experience in many ways. the biggest way was that i learned it wasn't for me. we weren't meant to be together....ever. haha.

so that's what my essay is on and maybe i'll post it up here when it's in its final form, but the boyfriend has to review it and hopefully rip it apart a few times for me before i have something coherent enough to send into the grad school.

wish me luck!